Coffee Chats · On Energy

February 6, 2017

Out of all of the posts that I write, these may be my favorite.
I've taken a new aesthetic to laynejoy, and I'm spending this time to find the right photos, and font, and color scheme, and change things up. I feel like everything I've created in the past few months has been me trying to be somebody that I'm not. Imitating others in the blog community, and this has caused me to rework my blog physically, and I'm working on making it reflect on who I am. That's the purpose of blogging, right?

I went on this tangent and didn't realize it reflects the quote I've chosen for this week, but that makes it work even more nicely. This quote stemmed from discussing relationships in the car with my best friend, and why we attract such strange people. Then, when I attract a decent human, my abrasive qualities come out, and they leave because that's not who they are. Aside from relationships, I attract a diverse amount of people because I, myself, am a diverse person. That's one quality about myself I will never change.

My problem comes from the amount of toxicity I surround myself with. My relationships with people have been deteriorating because after a period of time, I find they are toxic to my mental health, which has led me to ask myself: am I toxic, too?

Throughout the month of February (which I can never spell correctly, shoutout to spell check) I'm going to take a step back and look at myself. I'm going to spend some well-deserved quality time with myself and see who I am, where I am, and who/where I want to be. 

All of my friends have set a June deadline for themselves (coincidentally all of their leases are up in June.) I've also set that as a deadline for myself because I think the next five months is an adequate amount of time to figure out my future. And I hope by taking these steps, I will be able to attract equally motivated people, who also have their heads in the clouds, because quite frankly, no matter how grounded I am I will always be a dreamer.

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